This study examines differences in mothers' emotional connection to their children as represented in narratives concerning a range of everyday parenting activities and interactions. First time mothers were interviewed over a period of approximately the first two years of their children's lives, using a semi‐structured Parenting Function Interview (PFI), developed for purposes of this research. The new computerized Referential Activity (RA) measure, the Weighted Referential Activity Dictionary (WRAD), was applied to the interview transcripts. Significant differences in RA, representing differences in the symbolizing process and emotional engagement in particular parent–child activities, were found between mothers, and also according to child care topic. On average, mothers' RA was highest for topics of bathing, bedtime and pleasurable events, and lowest for angry and difficult moments. Themes of feeding were relatively low in RA for three of the four mothers, and reports of frightening events showed significantly higher RA than themes of anger for all mothers. Clinical implications of profiles of the mothers' emotional engagement in different topic areas are discussed. Copyright © 2010 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.