This paper examines ways some women work to define their sexual identities outside of or between traditional binary categories today. How does one’s own gender and the gender of one’s sexual and relationship partners through the life course affect the creation and maintenance of a sexual identity? Does our current system of sexual categories fit women’s experiences and identities? This study looks at women’s sexual experiences through an examination of female sex store patrons. Using Anthony Giddens theories of the pure relationship and plastic sexuality and ideas from queer theory alongside qualitative data about women’s sexual and relationship experiences, this paper sheds light on relationship and identity choices some American women are making today around their sexuality and provides new views on identity maintenance, gender, and sexual relationships.