In light of the emerging trend of men and women sharing work and family roles, the goal of this study is to investigate which individuals will experience a role as depleting or enriching their energy levels. We apply self-discrepancy theory and propose that role salience explains when a role will lead to exhaustion versus engagement. Exhaustion is likely when participating in a role for which salience is low, while engagement is likely when spending time on a role for which salience is high. We test this idea using a diary study whereby participants logged time spent on work and family tasks on seven consecutive days, while reporting feelings of exhaustion and engagement in the morning. For individuals with high work salience, time spent on work increased exhaustion less, and increased engagement more, as compared to individuals with low work salience. Spending time on family tasks increased exhaustion less, and increased engagement more, when work role salience was low as compared to high. Our findings suggest that wellbeing consequences of role participation depend on work role salience. We discuss how these findings advance theoretical thinking in the work–family literature and give leads for managerial practice.